Author Archives: NickNackNock

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Contemporary Slang 101 (with 12 UCAS points)

Ladies and Gents, buckle yourselves up for the wild ride that is Contemporary Slang 101. This is where we’ll get down and groovy with the words that young’uns are using these days. If you were born before the year 2000, this is for you…

Think of it as a crash course in street-smart lingo, an introduction into a secret society of cool, or a lesson into “how to impress your friends while sounding like you’re still in touch with reality.”

So, what exactly is “contemporary slang?”

It’s the language of the people, the pulse of the youths, the verbal expression of all things #HipAndHappening. It’s what you hear when your kids talk to their mates, or when you’re scrolling through TikTok or memes (we’ll get to those). And just like fashion, these terms change faster than you can say “Who wore it better?”

So why don’t we start decoding this charming and colourful collection of words and phrases, so that we sound a bit less like our grandpas, and more the kool-gang who play ruggers (no offence grandpas!)

Abbreviations

Many slang terms take the form of initialisms, contractions and acronyms. Take:

  • LOL (Laugh out loud); RO[T]FL (Rolling on [the] floor laughing)

LOL does NOT mean “lots of love,” so don’t tell your children “Sorry you failed your test, honey, lol” …

The term was first used in the 1980s by Wayne Peterson, to denote a more extreme laughter than “hahaha,” and whilst the meaning mostly remains, today, the term in all lower-case is occasionally used ironically to convey the lack of funniness of something.

Example:

A “Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side!”

B “lol” (i.e you’re not funny)

Other examples of abbreviations:

  1. tbh/tbf – to be honest/ to be fair
  2. smn/sm1 – something/someone
  3. icl/ngl – i can’t lie/ not gonna lie (to be serious about smn)
  4. alr – alright/ok
  5. np – no problem
  6. acc – actually
  7. fr – for real (are you serious; acc?)
  8. bae – “before anyone else” (a significant other)
  9. bf, bff, gf – boyfriend, best friend (bff), girlfriend
  10. idk – I don’t know
  11. irl – in real life
  12. [gonna – going to ( can be used irl)]

(Use at your own caution.)

Example:

“we r alr to come over later, idk if ur still free”

Translation: “we are alright to come over later, not sure if you’re still free…”

Food

Many words take the form of synonyms in slang. One of the most common words that take slang, is “food.”

The most common is “scran,” which as originally slang for a “bar tab,” in the 1700s. Later, it was coined as a verb, “out on the scran” meaning begging for food. Scran was often used to describe scrappy pieces of food or left over, until the military began using it to mean “ration meals.” It is likely to have been influenced by the word skran, Icelandic for junk.

The term “bussin” is said to have come about from TikTok, where a trend of “furiously gripping food” became a way to show its deliciousness. Food hence crumbled and burst into pieces, which led to the word “bussin” being used to describe tasty scran.

The term “peng” is also commonly used to describe something as impressive, or appealing, for example, “this cake is peng!” It was derived from the word for cannabis popularised by reggae music, Kushungpeng, but bares no relation to drugs at all in a modern context.

In order to describe food as average, or rubbish, the default is “mid,” suggesting mediocrity or “mid-of-the-range”, or “wack,” originally African-American vernacular, now meaning bad.

Contemporary idioms

This is probably the hardest part to grasp. A lot of teenagers and children form their personality from an overdose of social media, leading to them talk in riddles, dressing up like every other person who uses Instagram, and glued to their phones.

Contemporary idioms are a collection of random phrases used as “default reactions” to things, with little or no meaning, relevant or not. The constant use of these have become commonplace, so here we go…

  • No Cap

If something is “no cap,” it is true, and not a lie. One interpretation of this is how caps are used to hide things: contents of a bottle, an ugly haircut etc. So for there to be no cap, everything is honest, and revealed…

  • Rent free

If you just can’t stop thinking about something, or something is iconic, we say it lives “rent free” in my head, as it pays no bills to the landlord that is forgetting.

  • Caught in 4k

You’re caught eating Marmite in a no Marmite zone! We’d say you’ve been “caught in 4K” (caught red handed).

  • Mission failed successfully

You accidentally fall off a tightrope, but end up landing on a double backflip. You failed, but did something cool. Your mission? Failed successfully.

  • Bare

Whilst conventionally it means “a lacking of,” it’s most commonly used to mean “a lot of” or “really.” That’s bare weird!

  • Lowkey

Lowkey, it’s used as a quantifier like “kind of” or “pretty.” However, lowkey is used to voice a non-personal opinion, to avoid offending someone. You might be thinking: lowkey that’s kinda weird?

Well there you have it: a taster into the world of slang.

Also, 12 more UCAS points 😉

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Worcester scran

In April 2022, a self-proclaimed “connoisseur of food” compiled a list of the Top 5 best fast food burgers in Worcester, so go check it out.

As much as I personally enjoy a cheeky voyage to the local Maccies, sometimes the “fast-food” option just ain’t good enough.

So I thought … why not share my personal (yet objectively correct) list of the finest quality grub establishments, for that once-in-a while proper meal?

Impasto (6 St Swithin’s St, Worcester WR1 2PY)

Oh my days. Once you try Impasto, you will never reconsider the franchise Italian restaurants in Worcester again (ever). They’re consistent. They’re authentic. All dishes are homemade, and their ingredients are local as much as possible, so you’ll be sure to have the freshest food. Not only that — buckle your seatbelts — but any pizza is £10 on weekdays till 7pm. The staff members are super friendly, knowledgeable about the food, and when you visit the restaurant, you’ll feel right at home, tucking into your bed of pasta and sauce …

“Clay roasted chicken and pesto pizza is the best thing I’ve ever tasted” – Gabriel (not paid for his opinion).

Maneki Ramen (Arch 45, Worcester WR1 3BH)

Since visiting Japan in the summer of 2019, I have not been able to find a bowl of ramen as good as the ones over there. Maneki comes real close, and is real damn good. Pete Dovaston, the head chef, has lived in Asia and draws on his experiences for inspiration to create menus that are authentic, yet adapted to the ingredients available in the UK. This place never serves watery mess like the many try-to-be ramen around, and the flavour just blows up in your mouth. If you’re looking for something new to try, I would definitely recommend the melt-in-your-mouth “Tonkotsu pork ramen” and “Karaage chicken.”

Wayland’s Yard (6 Foregate St, Worcester WR1 1DB)

It was during GCSEs, studying in The Hive library everyday, and every lunchtime was “fridge food” and its variants (special mention to Iceland for making yourselves so affordable). One day I decided “why not give Wayland’s Yard a go?” seeing as I walk past it every day on the way to school. Since then, I’ve returned countless times, mainly for the YARD crispy classic chicken burger and their aromatic cold brew. What really entices me is the simplicity, yet precise execution of every item there. With a great variety of breakfast and lunch items, and being dog friendly, it provides, undoubtedly, the *pengest munch*.

(Fun fact: Wayland’s Yard was opened in 2016 by former Worcester Warrior’s player Sam Smith)

Black and White (14 The Foregate, Worcester WR1 3QD)

“If you ever want a beautiful breakfast you can thank me later,” says Mr Salvador K. And how correct he was. Black and White, located confidently next to Foregate Street Station is a classy café which does a mean eggs benedict. It’s a lovely little spot for people watching too, whilst sipping on your latte with oat milk. I’m yet to return for their waffles, which I’ve been told are exquisite, but perhaps you might want to try first! Overall, a cheeky little spot for a solid nom-nom-nom and admirable coffee!

Hanbao (4 Foregate Street, Worcester, GB WR1 1DB)

*They also courteously give you gloves so that all crumbs end up in your tummy, not your hands!

 

Hanbao, otherwise known as my guilty pleasure, is the Asian-influenced burger palace of Worcester and hotspot for gourmet dines. With a selection of exquisite, yet filthy, filthy burgers, dirty, dirty fries and excruciatingly flavoursome wings, there’s something for every taste bud. Whilst it is not the most friendly outing for your dimes and pennies, it’s so worth it and the portions are beastly– and you’ll leave your belly well satisfied too …

Well, I mean if that doesn’t make you hungry, I don’t know what will … Why not give something a try?

 

 

 

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Paper Argument

Paper is the most essential resource on the planet.

Uniting society, our society, it holds history by the hand, documenting our greatest most fatal events through books, magazines, drawings, and most importantly McDonald’s receipts (which allow us to redeem a discounted Big Mac through completing a survey).

And I think that we owe our knowledge to the timely tree, wise and mystical, which allows us to tap into our past with the flick of a page. Almost never do we really consider the travesty the world could’ve been if paper didn’t exist, since we are so entrapped by mere existence of paper as a given. We have lost touch with the appreciation of the simple aspects of our heritage, and I think it is a severe consequence of the direction society is heading into. So I ask you to ponder the question:

Does paper paper?

The Directional confuzzlement

Intercontinentally, paper has reached mass popularity, but not through the importance of its role as a key part of the Earth, but from rather how it serves our selfish Homosapien existences which begs the question…

Which way does the toilet roll roll ?

Exhibit A presents the over position. To the masses, this is the default, with over 70% of people (in various surveys) agreeing with this. It presents the benefit that one’s hands won’t touch the wall if your hands are dirty (with food obviously); that it’s easier to grasp the more accessible exposed segment; and it provides the opportunity to “fold in” the final end in a hospitality situation to give a look of ptang and shazam to the roll. One downside is that practically everyone takes on this style, so if you’re looking to be quirky or stand out, or even convert your occupation to “clown,” this is the way to go.

Exhibit A

Exhibit B presents the under position, a method of presenting a roll that is near blasphemous. Like why? Well, one reason is that the end piece of paper can be hidden from view, creating a cleaner look. If one has a cat or toddler, they have absolutely no chance at unrolling it and leaving you with a mess to clean up. It also reduces the chance of unrolling as the wall acts as a kind of “breaking system” to rotation of the toilet roll. But it’s wrong.

Exhibit B

Overall, toilet paper’s role in social constructionism has caused many paper arguments (*Bah-dum Tsk*). For example, it has probably ended a few too many marriages. Many of us are born into an orientation and stick with it, looking in disgust at the other side of this argument. Others of us feel peer pressured to conform to societal standards. Christopher Peterson, professor of psychology at the University of Michigan, suggests that it is a matter of “tastes, preferences, and interests” rather than “attitudes, traits, norms, and needs.”

So I ask you: is there really a correct way?

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Tate: Rise and Fall of the “Top G”

From Big Brother to social media’s central stage, you must have heard of Andrew Tate: he’s a controversial influencer and pyramid scheme owner not particularly known for being… let’s say…”orthodox.” Some may call him a genius, most call him a misogynist (spoilers: he is).

However, we all ask ourselves the same thing:

“Where did [‘The Top G’] come from, where did [‘The Top G’] go? Where did [‘The Top G’] come from… (Cotton-Eyed Joe)”

Chapter I: The Break

Despite being named world champion kick-boxer in two different weight divisions in 2013, Tate first achieved public fame in 2016, entering the seventeenth season of Big Brother. 

Whilst on set, Tate came under scrutiny for his homophobic and racist comments on the internet. A video of Tate beating a woman surfaced, which initiated the connotations we know to his today, although he later described it as “consensual.”

Chapter II: The Crumble

In 2017, the times caught up. Tate’s misogynistic tweets and comments led to the suspension of all three of his Twitter accounts. He was never to be on the internet again… or was he…?

In 2022, Tate established himself as trending:

11 April 2022: Tate’s house is raided by Romanian police after an allegation of him holding someone hostage.

August 2022: Tate is permanently banned from Instagram (4.7m followers) and Facebook for breaching the terms of content.

September 2022: TikTok, where over a 13 billion hashtags featuring the name “Tate” had been used. Andrew Tate’s account was banned following his controversial opinions, including his “breathe air” anti-vaping tirade (followed by deeply inhaling a Cuban Cigar), as well as the fact that he would not administrate CPR to a liberal.

Chapter III : The Fall

Tate is currently banned on all social media: YouTube, Twitter… you name it. However, despite this, he has gained a pretty hefty amount of money from both his attention and “Hustlers University,”, a supposed Pyramid sche- i mean… platform, where you can become the next “Top G”.

Most recently, Tate made an appearance on Piers Morgan’s Uncensored, where he defended his opinions on the importance of “traditional masculine values,” which you can watch for yourself here. I would definitely recommend all with strong feelings about Andrew “Cobra” Tate to consider watching the interview: a perfect melange of childish waffle and provocative opinions (emphasis on “waffle”).

Question is… what do you think?